September 14, 2014

Matthew 18:21-35

Being a Christian is not an easy identity to hold. Sure, we many times live as if it is, but for those who truly take the message of Christ to heart and earnestly seek to live it, it is a task that requires a commitment that involves every possible bit of strength, candor, hope and love that we have, and even then sometimes it seems as if we are close but just miss the goal. There are lots of difficult parts to maintaining our Christian identities. Part of the reason that a Christian life is so difficult to put into practice is the issue of forgiveness.

In 1978, a book was published called, The 100, by Michael Hart. It is a ranking of the most influential persons in history. Many of us might disagree with Hart’s opinions. For instance, he ranks Jesus third, behind Muhammad and Isaac Newton. (Buddha, Confucius, and St. Paul come next.) Despite this, it is an intriguing text, with some thought-provoking analyses. For example, Hart explains that he ranks Muhammad first because he was the sole founder of Islam, while Jesus and St. Paul share the responsibility for Christianity. Muhammad was also a great secular leader, while Jesus Christ refused to accept any worldly authority.

What is more pertinent is the author’s description of the unique message of Christ. Almost all religions adopt some form of the Golden Rule as a premise, but Jesus was alone in commanding that we forgive enemies, turn the other cheek, or walk a second mile. Hart then quotes the text from the sermon on the mount and says that if these words were widely followed, he would have no hesitation in placing Jesus first on the list.

You see, there is no legal demand that  a human being should love an enemy. In fact, it is difficult for us to love anyone unless we have the security of being loved. Except in a case of sexual infatuation, it’s just not logical to expect us to love anyone who doesn’t reciprocate our love.

It is even more difficult for us to forgive others if we don’t have the assurance of being forgiven. We feel we have to wait, until we are sure that the other person will also forgive us. all of us have probably fallen uncontrollably in love with a potential sweetheart who rejects us. But we don’t fall uncontrollably into forgiveness, especially of an enemy! Also, we can love people and not forgive them - a fact proven by the high rate of divorce in our society.

Peter heard the troubling command of Jesus and wanted to ingratiate himself with the Lord - but he also wanted to be sure he didn’t go too far. Knowing that some rabbis advocated forgiveness three times, he came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?, until seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I say not to you, ‘until seven times,’ but ‘until seventy times seven’.”

Many have computed that this is 490 times, but the command is not for me to count patiently if my wife burns toast 490 mornings and then on the 491st time I can finally condemn her! That is not the point of Jesus teaching. So, the point is not to count to 491 to finally condemn someone. We know then, also, that the point is not to refuse forgiveness the first time or the second time either. Is Jesus, then, saying that we ought to always forgive, no matter how many times we have been wronged, no matter how many times we have been burnt, no matter who is making the mistake or no matter what the mistake is? Could that be it, that forgiveness should be demanded at every opportunity, no matter what. Is it that Christians should never hold a grudge, that Christians must always forgive and just move on, knowing that the mistake, or the sin, will happen again and again?

I don’t think so. Remember, the scripture from just last week about how to deal with problems inside the church. We are to fix them, or attempt to address them before we go to the altar, but at the same time if the behavior doesn’t change, we are to cast them out of the community. That would seem to suggest that there is a limit to forgiveness. So what is that limit? One time? Two times? 7 times? 490 times? A thousand times??? What is the correct answer?

Well, the easy answer is that concentrating on a number may be the wrong approach to take. Let’s be realistic here, we all get mad. We all have those moments when we are furious with somebody for something. Sometimes, though, God has funny ways of helping us see the error in our ways. That happened to me this week.

One thing I will say about myself is that it is pretty hard to get me upset. Sure, things bother me. I get mad at people, at myself, at the world. But for me to get really hopping mad, it takes a lot. If you ever see me mad, you would understand. I can get unrecognizable. I get red in the face, I can’t find the words to speak, and I even swear. Luckily, it doesn’t happen very often. The fact that it takes a lot to get me really mad is a good quality, I guess. But, in full disclosure, Eimy will tell you there are many other not so great qualities of mine that more than offset my cool temper.

So this week, I had one of those moments when I got really upset. On wednesday’s I come home from Washington. Now, I have taken to riding public transportation to get there and back. It takes longer but I can get work done on the way and I like that. Every other wednesday, though, I have a class until 3:00pm. In order to make all the connections and get on the rabbit transit bus back to york, I have to get to union station in DC and get on the train to baltimore by 4:15. Any later, and I get stuck in Hunt Valley and Eimy has to pull Mia out of soccer practice and drive down to pick me up.

So this wednesday, I left class and went as quickly as possible to the bus stop which took me to the subway stop, which took me to union station. I got there and ran to get the train ticket and, thank God, I was just in time. I saw my train was leaving from gate C, track 16 so I ran to the track. Now MARC trains, the commuter trains, are different than AMTRAK, so it is easy to know if you are getting on the right train. On track 16, there was a MARC train so I got on. I walked into the car and it was vacant. I went up to the next car and it was vacant too. I realized then, that I was on the wrong train. Unbeknownst to me, there were two MARC trains on the same track. I went to get out of the car and I couldn’t. It was locked and I couldn’t get out. I ran to the other doors, same deal. I pushed the buttons to open the doors, but no luck. I realized my train was going to leave and I couldn’t get to it. I started banging on the doors and windows yelling for help. I tried the intercom, nothing. After a few minutes of trying to get someone’s attention and their help, I finally had someone let me out of the train. A minute too late. However, I happened to notice that there was another train leaving in two minutes a few tracks down. I ran to the train and came across two other guys doing the same thing. We ran and when we got there the train was just starting to move. The two other guys jumped on. As soon as the second guy got on, one of the attendants stepped right in front of me and wouldn’t let me on. At this point, I have sweated through my clothes, running, dragging my bags, all knowing that if I don’t get on this train, there is no way I can get to York without eimy having to pick me up. The gentleman standing in front of me refusing to let me on was the last straw. I lost it. I started screaming. I started swearing. I started jumping up and down screaming at this man who now had turned around and completely ignored me, which of course made me scream louder.

I ended up getting on the next train, but missed the bus and eimy had to come and pick me up.

Long story short, I guess i needed a lesson on the importance of forgiveness. Unfortunately, it was a lesson I failed miserably. I failed because I let my anger get the better of me and I wasn’t even thinking about forgiveness, I was only thinking about me.

Because, here’s the kicker. Forgiveness isn’t for the person we are forgiving. Well, it is but it isn’t. Sometimes they are happy to have been forgiven, but sometimes they couldn’t care. We, however, have a lot to gain from forgiving. Scriptures talk of forgiveness alot, because it is such an important action that we must take. If for no other reason than the implication in Scripture that unless we are willing to forgive others, we ourselves will not be forgiven, not only by other humans but also by God.

We are warned that our resentment of others constitutes a barrier, not only between our selves and them but between us and God. It’s a danger that we Christians need to take seriously. We need to take it seriously because, this one issue, maybe more than any other single issue can keep easily prevent us from living a God-centered life. There are many ways to sin, but in the case of forgiveness it can become so hard to even see our own sin because it means admitting to ourselves that we have not lived a life worthy of Christ’s name.

In 1984, four months after undergoing surgery to remove a cancerous lung, Greg Anderson was informed that the cancer had spread from his lung through the lymph system. His surgeon gave him “about thirty days to live.”

Desperate and dying, he called organizations around the country, speaking to individuals who had lived through a similar situation. The one, constant message he received was forgiveness. Gradually, Anderson came to realize that “forgiveness was my issue.”

Yes, he possessed a “critical” attitude, but there was more. Three months before his cancer diagnosis, he and a new controller at work began a series of escalating attacks and recriminations on each other. Within thirty days of Anderson’s diagnosis, his adversary was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Anderson finally admitted that there was a “link between my toxic behavior and the onset of my illness.”

After compiling a list of people to forgive and silently forgiving these people from his sickbed for four days, Anderson knew that he must visit his adversary from work. With heart pounding and adrenaline rushing, he visited the man in his home and managed to utter, “I have come to say I am sorry. I deeply regret the hurt I have caused you.”

Struggling to sit up in his own sickbed, his adversary replied, “Greg, I am the one who needs to say I’m sorry. I’m old enough to be your father. Yet I treated you like the outcast son. Please forgive me.”

While they embraced and cried, the former adversary muttered a prayer, “Dear God, forgive us all.”

Greg Anderson, wellness crusader and successful author, identifies this one week devoted to the sincere work of forgiveness as the “absolute turning point” in his physical healing.”

Not all forgiveness stories are that dramatic, but they all remind us that God does not call us to be perfect, but to be perfect in love. To forgive and be forgiven. So, back to the question, how many times should we forgive? One? Two? Seven? 490? 1000?. I believe the answer is not a number. When we ask ourselves how many times we should forgive, the answer is glaringly simple, the answer is this time! We should forgive this time! It doesn’t matter the issue, the person, the hurt, the pain, the suffering, the anger. We should forgive this time. Because that, my friends, is what we are called to do.